I have never been in love
Infatuated, yes, absolutely. If not before then from the moment I met You.
I was definitely infatuated, big time. And it might have evolved if circumstances had been different. You will remain my eternal “could have been” - not that I have any regrets on that account.
What we did and had, nothing or nobody can erase, soil or sully - more than we already did; it will stay with me in that special corner reserved for special people, one of a kind adventures and exquisite memories.
Loved, yes, absolutely; my mother, family in general, my dog, special friends, life… Even real life as he turned from partner into dear friend.
A friend of mine recently described the feeling of “to love” as “to walk with love”, thus implying that one can love after a single meaningful encounter, a chance meeting on a plane or a lonely drink turned interesting conversation in the deepest, darkest, latest hour.
Had a crush on, yes, absolutely; actors, singers, that boy four grades my senior, a DJ at a club I went to once, the guy at the record store where I brought my first Springsteen album.
But “in love”, no, never.
Or at least not until recently. Now, however, I am not all that sure.
How does one know if one is in love?
Is simply: “If you were, you wouldn’t need to ask”, the only answer thus rendering the old saying “If there is doubt, there is no doubt” true?
Or is life more complicated than that?